Odd how you can go along finally feeling okay then something unexpected can take you down.
Today while on a social networking site I clicked on one of our family friend’s profile pages and there she was. First the shock of seeing her face hit me. Then, it hit me that she could see mine. Photos [...]
Archive for the ‘The Hard Stuff’ Category
Unexpected bite
Posted in The Hard Stuff, tagged affair recovery on May 28, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
They say it takes about a year…
Posted in The Hard Stuff, tagged affair recovery on May 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
In going through the affair recovery process, we met of four couples who had been through it and survived. My question to each of them was, “how long?” How long until things are back to normal?
Each of the couples had the same response. They said it took about a year. At the two month [...]
Confronting Fear
Posted in The Hard Stuff, tagged affair recovery on August 8, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Saturday was particularly bad. We ran a simple errand to the post office. What neither of us had thought about was that the last time we were there, we were applying for passports for our anniversary trip. I’d thought it was odd at the time that Mark didn’t sit with me as we waited that [...]
Disclosure and Lies
Posted in The Hard Stuff, tagged affair recovery on July 22, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
By far one of the hardest parts of dealing with the affair were the lies.
The best advice I could give a betraying spouse is for full disclosure up front on the day of discovery. Mark thought he was protecting me by hiding parts of the affair. Over time, all of it was revealed. Every detail.
The [...]
Trying for acceptance
Posted in The Hard Stuff, tagged affair recovery on July 18, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Notes from my journal…
At our friend’s this weekend Mark told me I hadn’t really accepted that it had all happened. That I kept fighting that it was real.
I bowed my head and listed everything that was stinging me. “I accept that my husband lied to me when I asked him what was wrong….I accept [...]
The Big Crash
Posted in The Hard Stuff, tagged affair recovery on July 12, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
From my journal…
God on Mute played a bizarre role in my evening last night. In fact, last night was one of the roughest evenings I’ve had since this whole thing started.
I had a good day at work—but as is common, the attacking thoughts started on the drive home. Ugly thoughts. Haunting thoughts. I asked [...]
The Poker Game and the Picture
Posted in The Hard Stuff, tagged affair recovery on July 5, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Mark wanted to go to a poker night. The trust was still so low that I knew it would be hell for me, but I made plans with a girlfriend and said yes. I got home by 9pm, but he was still gone.
I went through all of the computer files, e-mails, phone logs…again. Not the [...]
Who do you tell?
Posted in The Hard Stuff, tagged affair recovery on June 27, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
The only people who knew initially were Lisa, my boss and my pastor. Before leaving on the business trip, I asked Mark to tell his brother. I needed him to have that accountability.
This freed me to tell my sister in law. It gave me someone to talk to besides Mark and allowed me to vent [...]
The First Post Affair Business Trip
Posted in The Hard Stuff, tagged affair recovery on June 15, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
From my journal…
I stepped out of the rental car into the portacache and a song that I’d listened to earlier on my MP3 player hit my ears.
The escalator led up to a white marble lobby with the most contemporary high design I’d seen in a hotel. Primary colors, artistic shapes, fabric hanging over seating [...]
The Pain-Anger-Fear Loop
Posted in The Hard Stuff, tagged affair recovery on May 31, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Some days it was hard to function. I felt stuck in a loop. I contacted one of the counselors from Marriage Boot Camp, for a phone session. (Mark and I would wind up hiring the counselor and her husband for additional sessions by phone.)
This was my e-mail before our call…
Though the forgiveness is very real, [...]
