As I sit here to write this “three year update” the thing that stands out most to me is how little the event defines our lives anymore. What was so huge just two years ago barely enters my thoughts now.
If you’ve arrived at this site because you are trying to stay together after an affair, I can tell you three years later with confidence that there is hope. That your family matters. That you can heal. And that things will never ever be the same again. You are going to lose stuff that is precious to you…the way you view your spouse, yourself, your history… But you will discover the height and breadth and depth of love. Real love. The stuff that is deeper than what they show in the movies. It will be solid and real and very, very satisfying.
I think there are few sites on this topic because the experience is so deeply personal to the couple involved. Hang in there through the process. Don’t try to build your life back as it was. Discover what is on the other side…
This isn’t a Hallmark card. The process sucks. But you can survive this and go places few get to go. Cry out the pain. Scream when you need to. Stay open, and stay put. Don’t do things that injure yourself. And know that you weren’t stupid to trust. Trust is vital to love. More importantly, you can actually get to a place where you can trust again.
