I wish I could give you a “secret formula” to get through this. To speed up the process. Lord knows, I looked for one. Hard. In desperation…
What I can tell you with confidence is that you can come through this and find yourself in a better place than you were before this marriage-ending event.
This year (plus two months at this point) was about failure, betrayal, anger, doubt, fear….but it was also about honesty, discovery, beauty, need, belief and love. The real kind of love. The forever kind.
In the realest sense, “the other woman” is irrelevant. She played out her role in our story, then her chapter was over.
This story is about Mark and I. About putting things back together. About someday holding aged and lined hands…and even–gasp–future grandkids.
I can tell you it will take both of you. If either one of you opts to close up because it gets too hard…becomes bitter, vengeful, desolate…looks for comfort with other partners…then you are done. You start a new story on your own or with someone else. And no one would fault you for taking that path. Especially not me.
But if the two of you are committed to rebuild on what is now “Ground Zero” of your marriage, I want you to know that it is possible.
This story isn’t going to have a Disney movie ending. But it can end deep, real, and satisfyingly beautiful. You will find yourself stripped to your essence and connecting on that level. Something not everyone gets to do…
This road is one that few travel, but it can also get you to places that few get to go.
